Life's Disappointments

Last night Colton's ball team was to have his end of season party at the Macon Music game. The boys were supposed to get to go out on the field with the Macon Music players and stand in their position that they had played during the year. We met there early and had a little awards ceremony behind the stands and some kind words from our coach. But then, because of a rain delay the night before and other things, we were told the boys were not going to get to go out on the field after all because it would be probably 10:00 before the second game began and these are 6 and 7 year olds for cryin' out loud! So, the coach broke the news to the boys and they were able to go down by the dugout and get a ball from a representative from the Macon Music team.
Well, my precious Colton (who wears his big ole' heart on his sleeve) was crushed! He burst into tears as we left the ballpark. He sobbed. My heart broke as I couldn't do anything to change the situation (although I thought about just telling him to run out on the field anyway!). As we were leaving the ballfield, I tried to remind him of the night's blessings, he had a great time at the game with his buddies, had gotten a medal, a special MM ball and mini bat, and got to stay up late on a school night! I was thinking to myself, yes, it's painful, but it's a good lesson for him. He has a choice: he can focus on what had happened positive to him or focus on the negative.
As I was pondering the situation last night, God used it as a teachable moment for me. This last year has had several disappointments for my family. I have been hurt more than I ever thought possible. There have been times that I cried out to God and wondered if He saw the injustice. I suddenly realized that yes, He certainly had seen my family hurt, and it had certainly NOT escaped His attention. His eyes are ever on me. The thing that struck me though, was that, unlike Colton's earthly parents, my Heavenly Father could have changed the circumstances, He absolutely could have stopped the pain, He absolutely could have changed the past or the future, but He chose to let me suffer for awhile, and it was extremely painful for Him, just as it was for me. What some intended for evil, God intended for good. And in the same moment, I realized that He has absolutely provided for us in amazing ways this past year and has blessed us in some of the most unexpected ways. It is an incredible journey!
I am indeed blessed! I have an amazing Father who loves me, and could pick me up and take me home at any moment, but He still has work for me to do here (including raising three children to love Him). So, I have a choice to make: will I be bitter or better for the journey over the past year?The cry of my heart is that I will be better. It is my constant plea with God that He protect me from bitterness and restore the true joy that only comes from Him.