the journey

It's late and I'm up because I don't sleep well when Jerry's out of town, so I go surfing and catch up on blogs from all of my favorite people. I've caught up with my college roomie and her family, my buddy Beth (Moore, that it is, I feel like I know her, I've read so much of her), John Turner, some of my former students, checked out what's new on amazon, looked at house plans for the millionth time, then I ventured again to my most recent favorite author's website, Erwin McManus. I was reading one of his stories and I wanted to share an excerpt of it with you as I felt God just leaped out of the computer and spoke to me through it tonight.

“I’m afraid,” he confessed, as Maven stood with him in the place where his quest would begin.
“Of what?” Maven asked in his calming voice.
“For this journey, have I learned all I need to know?”
“Ayden,” he replied, “you know all you need to learn.”
“What should I take with me?” Ayden continued.
“Leave all you have and take all you are.”
Ayden persisted, “And the path, is it safe to travel?”
Maven looked at him sternly for the first time he could remember and scolded him, “It is not safe to remain!”
“It is not the place but the Presence that upholds you! This is your only certainty.”
"Go! Walk where no man has walked, yet you find footprints.”

Since God has called us to this journey that has led to the start of PC, I have struggled with really feeling ready...my insecurities scream out am I ready?...is it time?...is this the place?...there's so much I still need to learn...if only my family were closer?...if Peggy or Danna or Mary or Lucy were closer to help share in this stretch of the journey...if only my children were a little older...if only we were settled in a home...if...when...if...when...if... then God, in His infinite wisdom, led me to this short, simple yet hugely complex story.
I don't know if it's because of my love for literature or my headstrong "I can handle it" attitude, but God often uses Spirit-inspired fiction to pierce my heart and saturate my soul when I am exasperatingly dry and thirsty for a Word from Him. My personality often wrestles to stay where it's comfortable when the Spirit is calling me to move on. I'm loyal, steadfast and like to know what to expect and what's expected of me. That's safe. That's comfort. That leads to mediocrity. That's when He beckons me to move. I'm moving. Sometimes joyfully, sometimes kicking and screaming, but my safety must be in Him alone, not a place, not a position, not anything but Him.